How yoga changed my life.

I was in my early 20’s, and had just graduated from Minneapolis College of Art and Design. I was working as a graphic designer at a small agency. It was, in many ways, an exciting place to work. They had lavish parties, and even took us to Costa Rica for a week. I was living at the Tilsner, a hip artist co-op in lower town St. Paul with my boyfriend at the time. He was creative and adventurous, we met at MCAD and dated for 6 years before a messy break-up. Years later we would reconnect as friends. Our loft had 25 foot ceilings and overlooked the Mississippi River. I loved it, and lived there years after we split. I was young and surrounded with possibilities. It seemed like I had it all.

Then, I started having health problems. I had trouble sleeping, and was struggling with migraines. I didn’t feel like myself, I felt weak and exhausted. I had a series of tests, thinking at one point, I might have Hodgkin’s Disease. I got a clean bill of health, but my symptoms persisted and I was miserable. Looking back, something in me knew this was larger than just the physical issues I was having. I knew, if I didn’t get the root of my dis-ease, my health would suffer more serious consequences. It was a wake-up call and my motivation to change. I needed to take some time and really pay attention to what I wanted and needed.

The truth is, I was miserable at my job. Somewhere along the way it became less and less fulfilling. The glamor of working as a graphic designer had worn off. Hours behind a computer screen started to take their toll. Most of my projects left little room for creativity and I felt like I was living in a fog. It wasn’t just the agency, I had some interesting projects and even opportunities for growth. It was the job, I hated being a graphic designer. I had arrived exactly where I had worked so hard to be, and I felt empty and unfulfilled. I think part of me felt like a failure, the life I had worked for wasn’t the life I wanted. My job didn’t give me purpose or meaning. It stressed me out and was affecting my health. I stayed too long, and to some degree, ignored my unhappiness. I have always been a hard worker, getting my first real job at 14, and graduating both high school and college early. At the time, I had thrown myself into work. To this day, I tend to be an overachiever, and I have to remember to take time for myself. I was beginning to realize, I was at a point I could no longer ignore the affect my job was having on my health. I boldly decided, largely without a plan, to quit my job. Looking back I realize how lucky I was that I was at a place in my life with circumstances that allowed me to make this drastic leap. I don’t remember exactly how my family reacted, I’m sure they were concerned, especially about my college debt.

During this time, yoga helped me feel strong and grounded. This lead to better sleep, less headaches and more energy. Focusing on my practice gave me a sense of peace which extended beyond my mat, and everything began to change. I began to explore what I truly wanted to do with my life. Challenging myself on the mat helped me challenge myself in life. I had a lot to learn, and a lot to unlearn. Yoga helped me create space between my thoughts, which helped me become less reactive, more mindful, and reduced stress in my life. I started to practice being present with little things like watering my plants or playing with my dog, this gave me a break from the mental chatter and helped me find clarity. It’s easy to get lost in the mind and being able to take a break, even for a short while, is incredibly helpful.

It would be a few years before I would go on to become a yoga teacher, but that’s another story. I never regretted going to MCAD, it was a wonderful experience and opened my eyes to a world of possibilities. I'ld like to think it helped me be more creative.

Without the practices of yoga, there is no doubt I would be less happy, more stressed and have more aches and pains. To this day, yoga helps me feel better physically, mentally and emotionally. It has helped me find more meaning and purpose in my life. Yoga not only helped me find a career I am passionate about, it helps me navigate the challenges of life, especially the ones I can’t walk away from.